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When Your Spouse is an Obstacle to Your Weight Loss

Spouses are supposed to be supportive, but more often than not, they end up being an obstacle when weight loss is involved. There are several for reasons for this phenomenon as well as solutions to this common problem.

What are your intentions here?

First, your desire to lose weight and gain a better physique may set off alarm bells for your spouse. They may be questioning your intentions and whether you are readying yourself to look for another mate. Consistent reassurance can go a long way toward easing your spouse’s anxiety. Aim to involve your spouse in your weight loss journey and talk about how a healthier lifestyle will make you feel.

Communication is key when it comes to change in a relationship. Although weight loss may be something that is only changing for you, it will impact your spouse, and that change can feel scary. The more you communicate about why you are aiming to lose weight and how your spouse can support you, the more likely your spouse is to be on board.

Stop pushing me

Making the decision to lose weight and stick with a healthy lifestyle isn’t usually something that happens overnight. It takes time to mentally prepare for the commitment, to consider why you need to make this change, and to visualize what the new you could be like. However, within that future you may be imagining a healthier spouse too. You may want to share all the benefits you are imaging. These are good intentions, but they are likely to be met with resistance.

Your spouse is likely not ready to commit to making those same lifestyle changes just yet. Unfortunately, the more you push, the more they will resist. Weight loss is a very personal decision, and it has to come from a place of personal motivation. Your spouse won’t lose weight just because you asked them to join you in doing so.

The best thing you can do in this scenario is to let them know you have made the decision to lose weight, and you would like them to join you in the process if and when they feel ready. Leave the conversation at that and don’t push.

Blame isn’t a fun game

Sometimes, the biggest obstacle your spouse presents to your weight loss success isn’t anything they are doing on purpose; they simply continue with their old habits, which thwart your weight loss efforts. If your spouse eats dessert every night, for example, that can be difficult for you to resist. Eventually, you may cave. When this type of “eat what I feel like” behavior involves several meals a day, it can severely impact your success.

Additionally, you may have to skip watching evening TV or a movie with your spouse in order to fit in the exercise you need to accomplish your weight loss goals. The pull of that routine and the feeling that you are missing out may make it that much more challenging for you to get to the gym.

In this sense, your spouse isn’t doing anything wrong, so try not to blame them if you struggle with success. Instead, consider what you find difficult and ask them to support you for a short time while you are establishing new routines. Perhaps that means your spouse doesn’t eat that dessert until you are already at the gym.

Give your spouse a chance to help you achieve your weight loss goals. They may or may not want to join in your journey, but they can certainly make the effort to support you.



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I'm Kat, the author of the healthy, happy blog. Using my background in science, personal training, and writing, I post about how to be successful in four main areas of your life: finances, body, mind, and home.

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